I feel kind of bad for one of my work friends. He’s a really smart guy (Cornell graduate, etc) but he’s way too hung-up on getting a girlfriend. Part of his problem is that he wants to date only conventionally attractive, thin, smart women when he himself weighs at least 400 lbs. Now, we all know that how you look shouldn’t be the end all for how you choose your mate but when you’re not a physically attractive person to the average very pretty, thin, smart woman you have to sometimes widen your gaze. And there really isn’t a nice way to tell him that so I just shut my mouth and nod as he laments about how the tall, thin, model-looking chick won’t talk to him and how all the mouth-breathers are populating the earth with their spawn and how Idiocracy is becoming the reality.
The cleaning lady at work just scolded me for twirling my hair absentmindedly. I was like, “Buuuuttt Mooooooom!” and she told me that if I wasn’t careful all my kids will come out twirling their hair too and I’ll just have a bunch of baldheaded babies. She fucking rules.